


Snowy Thoughts

by everflow



Category: Ebon Light (Visual Novel)
Genre: Character Study, F/M, I have sooo many feelings help, Pls let me know what you think, Self-Reflection, Words left unsaid, unrequited feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:35:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 756
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27702161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/everflow/pseuds/everflow
Summary: Ecarae reflects on his decision to flee Gha’alia.
Relationships: Ecarae Falei | Mietwen Milirose
Kudos: 15





	Snowy Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for clicking on my story! Please check the ending for more info :D

Defecting from his country was not an issue.

Ecarae had never been loyal to Gha’alia, despite how easily he convinced those around him otherwise. Why would he risk his life for a falling country that had nothing left to give in return? Barring the foolish ideal of patriotism, Ecarae held no real stake in this battle: he was not surnamed Milirose, and neither had he economic interests like Duliae. All the prestige he had garnered as a Mask, the fancy honours his mistress so proudly bestowed upon him, were meaningless in the grander scheme of things. In truth, Ecarae was no more than a pawn, deployed again and again in the hands of the more powerful. Of course, he didn’t mind; dancing on a chessboard was how he had made a living, after all. But as someone so discardable, Ecarae had to stay loyal to himself, and only himself, if he ever wanted to survive. That’s why he had learned to be perceptive growing up: to know when to go for the throat, or retreat in the nick of time, so he never lost.

***

Ecarae realized “retreat” was the right option the night he foresaw Gha’alia’s downfall: when his mistress, so blinded by her anguish, had mistaken him for Gawloyes and threw a vase at him.

The porcelain shattered near the doorway, right by where he stood.

“You worthless husband! You fool!” Mietwen shrieked, throwing more objects across the room as if she, too, had gone mad from the Cuthintal.

Ecarae studied the broken woman before him, whose eyes were bloody from crying, face sunken as if she’d starved for days. Was she really _his mistress_ , the woman he had grown to admire so much? Gone was her sharp demeanor, so calculating, so full of conviction of purpose. Although she had tried to hide this desperation for the past week, Ecarae knew Mietwen was unravelling. Both she and her husband were already beyond saving.

“Get out! Get out!” She slumped onto the floor, covering her ears.

Was Mietwen talking to him? Or was she still in her own world, lamenting to herself? For a moment, the hallway was silent, save her ragged breathing.

Ecarae carefully considered his next move. Of course he knew what he truly desired to do this moment: to comfort his mistress. After all, hadn’t he always done so? Whether it was stress from paperwork, or anger at Gawloyes’ infidelity, whenever she needed him, Ecarae would always be by her side: his arms wrapped around her waist, fingers gently combing through her hair. And this moment, he ached to murmur in his mistress’ ears that she didn’t have to fight Gawloyes and the rebels. Why commit herself to a path of certain doom? No, retreat was always a valid, justifiable option.

And in fact, right now, Ecarae wanted to abandon his worthless post, and take Mietwen with him. The window was open behind them, and the cold wind blew into the halls, full of possibility. If only his dear mistress wasn’t so prideful. If only she wasn’t painfully in love with Gawloyes.

But Ecarae was never one to dabble so long in fantasy.

He gave Mietwen a quick cursory bow, even though she was too deep in her stupor to notice, and slipped back into the shadows.

Since then, he had been simply biding his time, feigning obedience. He accompanied his mistress to Duliae’s house, then proceeded to kidnap Alenca as per her orders. No one would’ve thought that when the perfect opportunity struck, he was out within a few mere hours.

***

The ship had been sailing for a few days now, heading to some wintery foreign nation. Ecarae didn’t know much of that country, but he didn’t have to. As long as he was far away from Gha’alia, he would be safe.

For the past hours, he’d been trying to will himself to stop thinking of his mistress, how she might've reacted to his betrayal, whether she was even alive. The sooner Ecarae discarded his old identity, the easier it would be for him to start anew.

And he would be fine. After all, wasn’t he still free and breathing at the end of the day? It was all that had ever truly mattered.

He watched tiny snowflakes begin to dance from the sky onto the ship deck. Earlier, the Captain had announced an upcoming snowstorm; it was best for passengers to stay indoors. Abiding by the recommendation, Ecarae left the balcony for his single-roomed cabin.

He’s had enough reflection for today.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, 
> 
> I'm super new to the EL fandom (and writing on AO3, for that matter), as I've only finished my first playthrough of the VN a few days ago. This is my first story! I absolutely adore this visual novel, and I'm left with soooo many feelings after my playthrough I just had to pour them out into my writing somehow! I decided to choose Ecarae for this character-exploration type of piece, because a lot of his thoughts remain a mystery and our greasy boi deserves more love <3 
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts on this! I'm really curious about this fandom, and your various opinions. 
> 
> Thanks for reading, and for welcoming me into the community with open arms <3 
> 
> Love,  
> Everflow


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